I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
