He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
