and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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