I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize