What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
