my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My bed smells like the plague
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