Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have already put on my inside pants.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
