That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
