i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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