I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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