not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
