Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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