well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You have to summon your inner elephant
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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