Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
