:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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