Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize