you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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