Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
