every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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