my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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