Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
