What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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