Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
