There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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