And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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