if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
They took my balls.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
