we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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