One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize