I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize