i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize