I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
