Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize