Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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