I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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