I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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