Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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