from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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