I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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