i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize