I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
