i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
