Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
try to milk me bitch
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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