She said her name was "party"
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
