Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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