airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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