i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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