my sisters under your porch take her home
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
