im holly from the hills drunk
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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