At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my sisters under your porch take her home
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
