i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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