try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
