My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
