so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
