He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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