Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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