Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
