He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
