Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
