Best friends brother. Beat that.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
