Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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