now i know why i became what i already was.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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