awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
