Already got asked if we're dating
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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